The Price of a Smile

People,

Let’s talk about people. We need each other. Our interactions make the world go round. In addition, they make life interesting. It would be nice if people could be nicer to each other, if we could love genuinely. It doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice ourselves, but a little kindness does help.

A thank you and an excuse me, a smile on one’s face—all bring us closer together, closer to our humanity. It does not mean wearing our hearts on our sleeves, rather it means recognizing that everyone has said heart and that we all bleed when cut.

Life is—can be—kind at times and if we live long enough, we discover it can also be cruel. Wouldn’t it be great if we could treat each other as though we understood that fact? Wouldn’t it be great if we treated one another with the understanding that life is precious and that no matter how difficult circumstances are for another, being kind to other human beings has the potential to soften the harshness that life can sometimes present?

In this present political climate, wherein division seems rampant and the “us vs. them” mentality abounds [insert here: we all bleed red, we all bleed red, we all bleed red…],I am reminded of when I first moved overseas to live in the United Arab Emirates back in 2012. I was a female Westerner of color, speaking with a New York accent and I wore my long dreadlocked hair uncovered.

The Emirati women stared at me through their cloth niqabs (face coverings), leaving me to only guess what may have been going through their minds regarding their perception of me. I only saw their charcoal outlines eyes and I would smile with the hope that they could see I was harmless and my intent was not to come and destroy their cultures and traditions, but to teach their children English as part of the government’s public school initiative. Without fail I would recognize smiling eyes in return.

I would not have noticed them had I not witnessed the immediate feedback in response to my own facial expression. Then I would follow my smile with a “hello” as the lady or ladies and I passed each other in the mall, supermarket, etc. I would soon learn the Islamic greeting of “Salaam alayukum,” and the responses remained 100% positive.

As a native New Yorker, I was raised to keep my guard up and to not make eye contact, but I have had to alter that behavior as it is conducive to the habit of objectifying people, making them things, not living creations formed from the same flesh and blood as I.

In addition, I regard time as an invaluable, irreplaceable resource. Self-checkout lines, ATM’s and online shopping simplify tasks in many ways, but they also limit human interaction. Thus, while I am outside in public spaces that require my physical presence, often the last interaction I want to have is a human one. It only follows that that would be the most likely time to become frustrated by collective human behavior [insert cringe here].

When that occurs, I am learning to slow down and take a deep breath. I then break those behaviors down into one person at a time. This conscious effort allows me to evoke my skill of empathy. I imagine each person as a mother or father, as a husband or wife, as a son or daughter having the worst day of his or her life and that I am just one portion of it, as he or she is just that one portion for me. Then I make eye contact and I smile, a smile from me that costs little, yet it says a lot. And I imagine that this slight interaction might brighten one’s day, the same way theirs does for me. And that, Good People, is always worth the price.